Original Twist Short Story

The clock reads 9 am, and Thomas hears a sudden knock on his bedroom door. “Wake up!” shouts Martha. “You said we were going out for breakfast this morning.”, she adds. Unwillingly, Thomas shakes himself out of bed, his eyes half-opened, as he covers himself with a white coat. “I’m out”, screams Thomas, as he puts on his shoes, holding a newspaper under his arm, gathering the keys. “Don’t forget to lock the door”, Martha says, as she walks down the stairs and outside the building. “Where do you want to go?”, Thomas asks. “Let’s try Herman’s Cafe”, replies Martha. “They make the best poached eggs.” 

Holding hands, Thomas and Martha stride across Lane Boulevard, greeting strangers with a warm smile. However, no one replies. “Why is everyone ignoring us?”, Martha questions. Thomas lets out a smile, shrugging his shoulders. On the roundabout next to a traffic light, Thomas reaches into his pocket for a 10 dollar bill and hands it to an old lady selling flowers. “Keep the change”, he says, as he goes for a white lily. Looking at the couple, the old lady stiffens, eerily staring at them as they cross the street. Thomas offers the flower to Martha, right outside the front steps of Herman’s Cafe. They enter from the front door and sit on the empty bench at the corner. 

A waiter by the name of Cole greets the couple and asks for their order. “How may I serve you today?”,  he asks. “I’ll have a plate of pancakes topped with strawberries, and the lady will have poached eggs with toast”, replies Thomas. The waiter records their order and disappears into the kitchen. “We live in a sad reality”, says Martha, out of the blue. “Everyone is so obsessed with their own worlds that no one even notices us anymore”, she continues. “Just ignore it”, Thomas replies. “How about we just enjoy this beautiful day”. There was a moment of silence before a waiter sets food on Martha and Thomas’ table. “Are you sure this is the right table?”, asks the waiter. “Yes”, Cole yells. 

Thomas and Martha rub their bellies as they look upon their meal. “These bring back memories!”, Martha remarks. “The colorful plating, the comfortable benches, and the striking aroma! I forgot what it all felt like!”, proclaims Thomas. With their eyes wide and spit oozing out of their mouths, they both sit in satisfaction. There was complete silence until the end of their meals. Thomas calls for the bill. “That’ll be $26”, said Cole. Thomas reaches into his pocket, but he couldn’t find his wallet. Neither could Martha. “Sorry, we both left our wallets at home”, replies Thomas. “Well in that case –  ”, suddenly, another waiter interrupts Cole. “Who are you talking to?”, he asks. “What?”, responded Cole. The waiter points at Thomas. “There’s no one there”, he says. Cole rubs his eyes and the couple disappeared like ghosts. The food was left untouched, the bill unpaid, but what was left was a newspaper, dated January 6, 1867. Underneath the date was the photo of a couple, underlined as Martha and Thomas Greene.

Reflection:

When writing my twist short story, I went through multiple shock endings which sounded excellent initially. However, I later found it tough to translate these endings into a short story. To write a short twist story, I realized that the story relies heavily on minor details which contribute to the surprise factor of the ending. As an inexperienced writer, I found it difficult to implement the crucial details or hints which help build the suspense of the climax towards the end. Thus my twist sounded somewhat underwhelming and weak. The twist was unexpected, however, the reaction and surprise I received from the reveal were lacking.